So, of all day's it is a Monday and of course on Sunday night like every "great"mom in the world I make Cassie lay out her Monday morning clothes, ask her to get her basketball bag together and her gym bag ready as well as her book bag. I watch her do it and look over her clothes and make sure she has all her things together. AM I NUTS? I know that what she is laying out to wear is appropriate and I know she has everything ready for gym and for basketball practice and I even make sure she has her clock set for the right time so she doesnt feel rushed. I AM NUT'S!
Clock goes off this morning at 0645 and I yell from my room down the hall to see if she is up and she replies "YES", only for me to actually go into her room at 0700 to find that she is sitting on the foot of her bed and hasn't even made a move yet, I prompt her to get it in gear and 7 minutes later she emerges from her room with her hair a mess and clothes on that were not what we agreed to last night and she looks at me blankly when I ask her to get her head out of her ass and get it together, like I have lost it. Yes, Me! I am the crazy one. 15 minutes later I am still rushing her to come on and grab her bags so we can get going. She is mouthing at every turn and mumbling under her breath which is more than annoying and is upset when I tell her that she is going to be late. Somehow this turns into my fault...
Really???
Finally out the door and headed to school. Adrian met us at home so he and I could have breakfast after dropping her at school and even he is upset that our Monday morning has turned into this turmoil. Pulling up to school I begin to tell Cassie that I love her and that I was only blowing smoke when I stated she will have to ride the bus from now on until forever and I am wishing her a good day. When she open s the back door of the navigator to go to school I realize she is only swinging her bright neon pink book bag up on her shoulder and that she hadn't taken her gym bag for PE class and she doesnt have her Basketball practice bag either. I smile and tell her that I love her and hope she has a great day.
After retiring to my bedroom upon returning from breakfast I get a call from the school. It's Cassie. "hey mom, are you busy?" Not really Cassie, Whats going on? Are you in trouble? (I ask this because with Cassie you just never know) "No, mom, ya know the blue folder that I use for my homework?" Yeah, why? "Well I left it on the couch. Can you bring it to me?" Sure Cassie, Dad will drop it at school when he leaves for work. "Thanks mama, I love you" I love you to bug, have a great day.
That was the entire conversation that took all of 30 seconds but realized I am a very lucky woman/mother to have such an awesome little girl that feels the need to tell me she loves me even after a morning like the one we had.
At lunch she calls to see how I am doing and how my day is and I realize I am just plain ole crazy. Not because our mornings are hectic and busy and because I expect things to go the way I planned them to but because I actually pressure myself to pressure my kid to do things a certain way. I know it is an impossible thought to even think that I could get my 12 year old to organize and follow every direction and rule I give to her. I am also crazy to think that my life is anything other than perfect. We may have wild Monday mornings, and my kid forgets everything under the sun and would forget her head if it wasn't attached but I know that I am also crazy to feel that it should all happen like it did on the beaver c leaver show or on the brady bunch show.
Far from the brady's but better off I suppose because what we ahve is real and it isn't scripted and made up. You can't ever really replace the way a mother connects with her child and vice versa.
I'm okay with crazy! Matter of fact I love crazy now that I know what it is.
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