Well, all of you have had a chance to read about me and some of the craziness that I have gone through as a mom and a military spouse. What a lot of you don't know though is the bad, ugly stuff that I rarely talk about. The things that really keep me up at night and cause my stress and my anxiety as well as my PTSD. I joined a online support group this morning at www.supportgroups.com and I am really looking forward to the insight and support of others to help me get through some things and overcome other things so I can remain healthy physically and mentally.
My husband and I have a lot of fun together but we aren't the perfect couple. Like all marriages we have gone through things but the difference in us and others is that we kinda use to the trial and error approach. Seems we often think about what we want now verses the outcome and the consequence. Kinda like our children I suppose.
It was really hard for me to fall in love with my husband as I tried so hard not to. I had been in a previous marriage where I was cheated on, the other marriage the gy was a jerk and abused me physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally and every other way you can think to the point of trying to kill me after holding me hostage in a field for a few days and raping me repeatedly. The one before that was abusive as well in a lot of different ways but was really more of a drug addict. Those are the serious relationships of my life. So in essence I am working on my 3rd marriage and I didn't want it in the beginning. It was hard to fall for a guy that was perfect in my eyes and I spent the first several years just waiting for him to mess up. When I started to trust him and give him 100% of me he gave me reason to fall back into building walls and he lost my trust. I know 2 wrongs do not make a right but I have grown really cold over the years and I broke the only rle I have ever made for me. I lied. I lied to him, to myself, my friends and family and eventually met someone else online. It happened by coincidence really and in a few weeks I was talkign tot his person, going to see this person and then found my self in an affair. I thought that this was someone I could really open up too and care for and allow to care for me. MAN, was I ever wrong. Less than a month later he raped me. Since that time he has threatened my life, my daughters life, my husband and his career and it just goes on and on. Thankfully after telling my husband about the craziness he took me back because he does love me and we started over. Since the restart it's been hard to connect. Seems like the more I do the more he wants and then he acts like I am the only one who has ever done anything wrong and that I owe him. I would love to throw something at him and scream you started it, but I am 100% sure that isnt going to help anything. We are intimate but it's hard to be intimate after the rape. I feel uncomfortable. I don't want to have sex during the day or wit the lights on and I always feel dirty and disgusting afterwards. THAT IS NOT NORMAL. Since I have suffered from PTSD for a lot of years due to being almost murdered I know that this is a common emotion after the fact but that happened in June... Why am I still feeling this way. I have made rules and stipulations to my husband and my sex life and there are times we go for 2 weeks without intimacy. THAT ISN'T NORMAL EITHER. I am not sure where to go from here so I joined a support group online. I joined several actually. Every time I go to a doctor and mention anything like this they always try anti-depressants and I am not depressed. Once doc gave me ativan. I am not anxious either. I may have a anger management problem but thats been there since my teen years and I am not screaming, yelling, throwing things or trying to hurt others so it is more than likely not that serious if I do. I just want to move on and not spend the rest of my life looking back. I am really tired of feeling the way that I do and worrying about this guy who raped me in June and wondering if he is stalking me again, following me, watching my home, watching my daughter, plotting to hurt my family and so on. That is hard to get over but I am trying. It's definitely no way to live your life. That's a fact.
I want to get out of here and get closer to my family so I will feel comfortable and start the process of healing and be able to trust folks that are around me. That is my first goal for sure. Prior to reaching that goal though I need to be able to connect with my husband because I do love him and I hate that I ever did anything to hurt him and hate that I am unable to connect with him the way I use to. It bothers me that our sex life is in shambles and that it isn't something pleasurable anymore. It kills me that having sex is emotionally painful and that I always feel like he is never satisfied because no matter what I do it is never enough. That is one of the reasons I kinda left to begin with. He is sexually the energizer bunny and wants to try new and exciting things every single day even if they cause me pain, make me feel uncomfortable or if they are embarrassing to me where I on the other hand just want to be with him and am satisfied with him and our sex life with out all the bells and whistles. We are so different in that area. It's no reason to end our marriage though. There has to be a middle ground and there has to be a way to push past all this to find it.
If any of my readers have any suggestions please let me know. I know my blog is about life as a busy sports mom but this is part of my life as well.
I know that was a lot of information in a very short time but it's a quick minute into my life. A minute of me if you will....
I pray none of you ever have to go through anything like this and please know I am always here for you if you have, you do, and you want to talk.
Here is to hoping that the support group will bring success to my sex life and that I will be able to find peace and let go of the past.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Another Great Day!
What a great morning.... Kind Of, Sort Of, Really...
I read or heard somewhere that it is impossible to be stressed or to be depressed if your are being thankful and I honestly believe that is the most truth I have ever heard or read in my entire life. Well, that and the bible.
I woke this morning to 23 degree weather and high winds. In most people's lives this would NEVER matter but in mine it does. I have severe arthritis and some other great diagnosis that I won't bore you with BUT cold effects me. So in pain and sore and really just tense and rigid I wake and get Cassie going like I do most day's and make it to my garage where my vehicle is. Thankfully the garage is insulated so it is relatively warm and my car is never "cold" and I never have to get out in the cold but the feeling of cold makes it to my bones and joints anyway.
So, off to school we go and I get her dropped off. On the way home I am thinking about how hungry I am and totally forget that my dear hubby won't be coming home for breakfast. I had left my purse at home and had no money with me so I had to come home to get it. When I returned home and parked in the garage I realized my stomach can wait. I am exhausted and in pain so once I make it to my bed again where I know I will be warm and in less pain I will call the hubby.
When I dialed his number it hit me that he isn't coming home this morning, I may not see him until lunch time actually. Once he answered I heard it to be the truth... I also heard in my husbands voice something I hadn't heard in a long time. Weakness, shaking, and fear. I have to admit it gave me the eeriest feeling ever. He had left home with no money as well but had also forgotten to take his BP med's and his heart rate was up with his BP which makes him anxious and he was about to have a panic attack. Alarmed I offered to bring his med's and some breakfast. He accepted so out into the cold I go once more.
After a 15 minute wait at BK for a couple sausage biscuits and his taters and power-ade I head across post to the COF where he is at with the commander and some other guys. Once I arrive he is sitting in his car waiting on me and quickly let me know he was released and could go home and have breakfast there... SERIOUSLY? I mean what in the hell is going on here?
All the way across post I was trying my best to be thankful. I am thankful that I have a car, a warm car and that my husband is okay and that traffic isn't bad and that it had warmed up 2 degrees in the last hour and then out of nowhere I see my husband fly though an intersection and I get caught at the light. Suddenly I am not so thankful anymore. He is going to beat me home. He is going to be there where it is warm and I am sitting here stuck in traffic because I didn't take the side roads. When the light turned green I floored my navigator and cut off some oncoming traffic and wheeled onto O'Connell road here at Fort Carson. Speeding up the road to the next turn I look down to see that I am running 45 mph and post speed limit is 30 mph. To hell with it.... I make the next turn and then the immediate left and another immediate left to see the end of my husbands mountaineer headed around the curve. I am really driving up the one way street thankful that I caught up to him and enjoying my little race even though I know I am the only one racing.
Or am I?
Is he trying to beat me home?
That thought overtakes me for a second when I come around the curve a little too fast and he is stopped completely in the road waiting on the water delivery guy to move outta the way so he can go forward. Of course I had to lock up my vehicle and yes the tires screeched!
The water guy is taking his sweet time and in no hurry obviously. He apparently gets paid by the hour, not per delivery otherwise he would be hauling ass... What a jerk I thought, when it hit me I am so glad I do not have his job. It would suck to be out in this cold windy weather delivering water to people who could care less about me and about the fact that I am freezing at the moment while delivering their water... I am so lucky and I feel that luck even more when I see him getting back into his truck and beginning to pull off.
I AM LUCKY because he had pulled onto the other side of our one way street and again I put my foot to the floor, whipped my navigator around the mountaineer my husband was driving. I ran the little stop sign at the playground but I slowed at least and before getting to the house I hit the garage door opener and by the time I made it into my drive, TADA, the garage door was up and I whipped in there, turned off the car and exited the car. As I was closing the utility room door I heard my husbands car door closing. I got up the stairs and onto the bed and grabbed this laptop before he could get upstairs. I looked casually his way when he entered the bedroom and asked, "What took you so long"? He laughed and just shook his head. Heading into the bathroom he smiled at me and said "You cheated". As he shut the bathroom door I am sure I was beaming with my Cheshire cat grin. I realized at that very moment that I have a great life. I have a great relationship. Of course we fight and have disagreements and we always will but that's the beauty of it isn't it...
Our day's often run together and we are so busy in our lives. Everyday there is work and ball practice and our schedules are pretty routine. Wake at 0645, out the door by 0730 (hopefully) breakfast at 0800 and work from 0800 to 1130 and then lunch then work from 1200 to 1500 (3pm) and then pick up Cassie at 1700 (5pm) and then dinner at 1730 (530 pm) and then more basketball at 1830 (630pm) until 2030 (830pm) then home to get ready for the next day so we can do it all over again. When we jump out of the ordinary everyday schedule we make for ourselves we find excitement, fun, spontaneity, and reasons to be even more thankful than we already are.
I am sure that the occurrence of this morning will NEVER happen again but I am also sure that I will not ever forget it either. Not every day we have is great and not every day we have is even good. Sometimes they are really horrible, no good, less than par kinda days.
It's hard for me to even find what I have in common with my husband sometimes.
Sometimes I ask myself, WHAT WAS I THINKING? WHAT DID I SEE IN HIM? Sound familiar or even awful? Sure it does but I am human... I have a right to question myself, sit in wonderment or amazement at my decisions, and even ask the questions or think of the what if's. I am glad I have that "free will", that right. Every time I think of those things I find new things that I love and adore about my husband. I always find the fault in our relationship and our marriage and I also always find the purpose and reasons of our marriage. What makes us tick, makes us happy, makes us an amazing couple and friends and why it is exactly that I love him so much and why I don't want to spend one day, let alone one second without him.
This is another great day!
A fun moment that only he and I shared and one that both will remember for a life time.
So, NO, you can not be stressed, anxious, depressed, or anything negative while you are being thankful. This morning I am thankful that I was able to drag my butt across post just so I could race him back to the house.
By the way he is feeling great now.
And So Am I...
I read or heard somewhere that it is impossible to be stressed or to be depressed if your are being thankful and I honestly believe that is the most truth I have ever heard or read in my entire life. Well, that and the bible.
I woke this morning to 23 degree weather and high winds. In most people's lives this would NEVER matter but in mine it does. I have severe arthritis and some other great diagnosis that I won't bore you with BUT cold effects me. So in pain and sore and really just tense and rigid I wake and get Cassie going like I do most day's and make it to my garage where my vehicle is. Thankfully the garage is insulated so it is relatively warm and my car is never "cold" and I never have to get out in the cold but the feeling of cold makes it to my bones and joints anyway.
So, off to school we go and I get her dropped off. On the way home I am thinking about how hungry I am and totally forget that my dear hubby won't be coming home for breakfast. I had left my purse at home and had no money with me so I had to come home to get it. When I returned home and parked in the garage I realized my stomach can wait. I am exhausted and in pain so once I make it to my bed again where I know I will be warm and in less pain I will call the hubby.
When I dialed his number it hit me that he isn't coming home this morning, I may not see him until lunch time actually. Once he answered I heard it to be the truth... I also heard in my husbands voice something I hadn't heard in a long time. Weakness, shaking, and fear. I have to admit it gave me the eeriest feeling ever. He had left home with no money as well but had also forgotten to take his BP med's and his heart rate was up with his BP which makes him anxious and he was about to have a panic attack. Alarmed I offered to bring his med's and some breakfast. He accepted so out into the cold I go once more.
After a 15 minute wait at BK for a couple sausage biscuits and his taters and power-ade I head across post to the COF where he is at with the commander and some other guys. Once I arrive he is sitting in his car waiting on me and quickly let me know he was released and could go home and have breakfast there... SERIOUSLY? I mean what in the hell is going on here?
All the way across post I was trying my best to be thankful. I am thankful that I have a car, a warm car and that my husband is okay and that traffic isn't bad and that it had warmed up 2 degrees in the last hour and then out of nowhere I see my husband fly though an intersection and I get caught at the light. Suddenly I am not so thankful anymore. He is going to beat me home. He is going to be there where it is warm and I am sitting here stuck in traffic because I didn't take the side roads. When the light turned green I floored my navigator and cut off some oncoming traffic and wheeled onto O'Connell road here at Fort Carson. Speeding up the road to the next turn I look down to see that I am running 45 mph and post speed limit is 30 mph. To hell with it.... I make the next turn and then the immediate left and another immediate left to see the end of my husbands mountaineer headed around the curve. I am really driving up the one way street thankful that I caught up to him and enjoying my little race even though I know I am the only one racing.
Or am I?
Is he trying to beat me home?
That thought overtakes me for a second when I come around the curve a little too fast and he is stopped completely in the road waiting on the water delivery guy to move outta the way so he can go forward. Of course I had to lock up my vehicle and yes the tires screeched!
The water guy is taking his sweet time and in no hurry obviously. He apparently gets paid by the hour, not per delivery otherwise he would be hauling ass... What a jerk I thought, when it hit me I am so glad I do not have his job. It would suck to be out in this cold windy weather delivering water to people who could care less about me and about the fact that I am freezing at the moment while delivering their water... I am so lucky and I feel that luck even more when I see him getting back into his truck and beginning to pull off.
I AM LUCKY because he had pulled onto the other side of our one way street and again I put my foot to the floor, whipped my navigator around the mountaineer my husband was driving. I ran the little stop sign at the playground but I slowed at least and before getting to the house I hit the garage door opener and by the time I made it into my drive, TADA, the garage door was up and I whipped in there, turned off the car and exited the car. As I was closing the utility room door I heard my husbands car door closing. I got up the stairs and onto the bed and grabbed this laptop before he could get upstairs. I looked casually his way when he entered the bedroom and asked, "What took you so long"? He laughed and just shook his head. Heading into the bathroom he smiled at me and said "You cheated". As he shut the bathroom door I am sure I was beaming with my Cheshire cat grin. I realized at that very moment that I have a great life. I have a great relationship. Of course we fight and have disagreements and we always will but that's the beauty of it isn't it...
Our day's often run together and we are so busy in our lives. Everyday there is work and ball practice and our schedules are pretty routine. Wake at 0645, out the door by 0730 (hopefully) breakfast at 0800 and work from 0800 to 1130 and then lunch then work from 1200 to 1500 (3pm) and then pick up Cassie at 1700 (5pm) and then dinner at 1730 (530 pm) and then more basketball at 1830 (630pm) until 2030 (830pm) then home to get ready for the next day so we can do it all over again. When we jump out of the ordinary everyday schedule we make for ourselves we find excitement, fun, spontaneity, and reasons to be even more thankful than we already are.
I am sure that the occurrence of this morning will NEVER happen again but I am also sure that I will not ever forget it either. Not every day we have is great and not every day we have is even good. Sometimes they are really horrible, no good, less than par kinda days.
It's hard for me to even find what I have in common with my husband sometimes.
Sometimes I ask myself, WHAT WAS I THINKING? WHAT DID I SEE IN HIM? Sound familiar or even awful? Sure it does but I am human... I have a right to question myself, sit in wonderment or amazement at my decisions, and even ask the questions or think of the what if's. I am glad I have that "free will", that right. Every time I think of those things I find new things that I love and adore about my husband. I always find the fault in our relationship and our marriage and I also always find the purpose and reasons of our marriage. What makes us tick, makes us happy, makes us an amazing couple and friends and why it is exactly that I love him so much and why I don't want to spend one day, let alone one second without him.
This is another great day!
A fun moment that only he and I shared and one that both will remember for a life time.
So, NO, you can not be stressed, anxious, depressed, or anything negative while you are being thankful. This morning I am thankful that I was able to drag my butt across post just so I could race him back to the house.
By the way he is feeling great now.
And So Am I...
Monday, December 15, 2014
Am I Crazy or just plain ole Crazy?
So, of all day's it is a Monday and of course on Sunday night like every "great"mom in the world I make Cassie lay out her Monday morning clothes, ask her to get her basketball bag together and her gym bag ready as well as her book bag. I watch her do it and look over her clothes and make sure she has all her things together. AM I NUTS? I know that what she is laying out to wear is appropriate and I know she has everything ready for gym and for basketball practice and I even make sure she has her clock set for the right time so she doesnt feel rushed. I AM NUT'S!
Clock goes off this morning at 0645 and I yell from my room down the hall to see if she is up and she replies "YES", only for me to actually go into her room at 0700 to find that she is sitting on the foot of her bed and hasn't even made a move yet, I prompt her to get it in gear and 7 minutes later she emerges from her room with her hair a mess and clothes on that were not what we agreed to last night and she looks at me blankly when I ask her to get her head out of her ass and get it together, like I have lost it. Yes, Me! I am the crazy one. 15 minutes later I am still rushing her to come on and grab her bags so we can get going. She is mouthing at every turn and mumbling under her breath which is more than annoying and is upset when I tell her that she is going to be late. Somehow this turns into my fault...
Really???
Finally out the door and headed to school. Adrian met us at home so he and I could have breakfast after dropping her at school and even he is upset that our Monday morning has turned into this turmoil. Pulling up to school I begin to tell Cassie that I love her and that I was only blowing smoke when I stated she will have to ride the bus from now on until forever and I am wishing her a good day. When she open s the back door of the navigator to go to school I realize she is only swinging her bright neon pink book bag up on her shoulder and that she hadn't taken her gym bag for PE class and she doesnt have her Basketball practice bag either. I smile and tell her that I love her and hope she has a great day.
After retiring to my bedroom upon returning from breakfast I get a call from the school. It's Cassie. "hey mom, are you busy?" Not really Cassie, Whats going on? Are you in trouble? (I ask this because with Cassie you just never know) "No, mom, ya know the blue folder that I use for my homework?" Yeah, why? "Well I left it on the couch. Can you bring it to me?" Sure Cassie, Dad will drop it at school when he leaves for work. "Thanks mama, I love you" I love you to bug, have a great day.
That was the entire conversation that took all of 30 seconds but realized I am a very lucky woman/mother to have such an awesome little girl that feels the need to tell me she loves me even after a morning like the one we had.
At lunch she calls to see how I am doing and how my day is and I realize I am just plain ole crazy. Not because our mornings are hectic and busy and because I expect things to go the way I planned them to but because I actually pressure myself to pressure my kid to do things a certain way. I know it is an impossible thought to even think that I could get my 12 year old to organize and follow every direction and rule I give to her. I am also crazy to think that my life is anything other than perfect. We may have wild Monday mornings, and my kid forgets everything under the sun and would forget her head if it wasn't attached but I know that I am also crazy to feel that it should all happen like it did on the beaver c leaver show or on the brady bunch show.
Far from the brady's but better off I suppose because what we ahve is real and it isn't scripted and made up. You can't ever really replace the way a mother connects with her child and vice versa.
I'm okay with crazy! Matter of fact I love crazy now that I know what it is.
Clock goes off this morning at 0645 and I yell from my room down the hall to see if she is up and she replies "YES", only for me to actually go into her room at 0700 to find that she is sitting on the foot of her bed and hasn't even made a move yet, I prompt her to get it in gear and 7 minutes later she emerges from her room with her hair a mess and clothes on that were not what we agreed to last night and she looks at me blankly when I ask her to get her head out of her ass and get it together, like I have lost it. Yes, Me! I am the crazy one. 15 minutes later I am still rushing her to come on and grab her bags so we can get going. She is mouthing at every turn and mumbling under her breath which is more than annoying and is upset when I tell her that she is going to be late. Somehow this turns into my fault...
Really???
Finally out the door and headed to school. Adrian met us at home so he and I could have breakfast after dropping her at school and even he is upset that our Monday morning has turned into this turmoil. Pulling up to school I begin to tell Cassie that I love her and that I was only blowing smoke when I stated she will have to ride the bus from now on until forever and I am wishing her a good day. When she open s the back door of the navigator to go to school I realize she is only swinging her bright neon pink book bag up on her shoulder and that she hadn't taken her gym bag for PE class and she doesnt have her Basketball practice bag either. I smile and tell her that I love her and hope she has a great day.
After retiring to my bedroom upon returning from breakfast I get a call from the school. It's Cassie. "hey mom, are you busy?" Not really Cassie, Whats going on? Are you in trouble? (I ask this because with Cassie you just never know) "No, mom, ya know the blue folder that I use for my homework?" Yeah, why? "Well I left it on the couch. Can you bring it to me?" Sure Cassie, Dad will drop it at school when he leaves for work. "Thanks mama, I love you" I love you to bug, have a great day.
That was the entire conversation that took all of 30 seconds but realized I am a very lucky woman/mother to have such an awesome little girl that feels the need to tell me she loves me even after a morning like the one we had.
At lunch she calls to see how I am doing and how my day is and I realize I am just plain ole crazy. Not because our mornings are hectic and busy and because I expect things to go the way I planned them to but because I actually pressure myself to pressure my kid to do things a certain way. I know it is an impossible thought to even think that I could get my 12 year old to organize and follow every direction and rule I give to her. I am also crazy to think that my life is anything other than perfect. We may have wild Monday mornings, and my kid forgets everything under the sun and would forget her head if it wasn't attached but I know that I am also crazy to feel that it should all happen like it did on the beaver c leaver show or on the brady bunch show.
Far from the brady's but better off I suppose because what we ahve is real and it isn't scripted and made up. You can't ever really replace the way a mother connects with her child and vice versa.
I'm okay with crazy! Matter of fact I love crazy now that I know what it is.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Worlds Busiest Sports & Stay at Home Mom: A New Kind of Monday
Worlds Busiest Sports & Stay at Home Mom: A New Kind of Monday: Monday is Monday is Monday. I think I could stay in my pajama's eating cinnamon rolls all day but am 100% sure that if I did that then a...
A New Kind of Monday
Monday is Monday is Monday. I think I could stay in my pajama's eating cinnamon rolls all day but am 100% sure that if I did that then absolutely NOTHING would get done:)
Cass is in school today and after such an crazy busy weekend we totally forgot that she starts basketball at the middle school today. How in the hell could I forget about that??? School sports are no less important than the travel sports. I even placed the date on the board and still forgot about the practices starting today. Oh well, I fixed the problem relatively quickly by texting bug from the computer, [which I will explain the reason for that in a minute], and letting her know that I will be at the school by 1 pm with her gym bag that has all of her basketball gear including her favorite shorts and socks. I also let her know that I will be calling her at lunch to chat with her and to remind her that she needs teachers signatures on the daily planner so I can help her organize her class work so she doesn't lose anymore [assignments]. That was a pretty long text which will probably get her into trouble because her phone will be going off during class and I will have to email the teacher to let her know why I had to text her and ask that they overlook it just this once because it was my fault and not Cassie's. We were also late getting up this morning. My husband forgot to set the alarm or to turn it on. Whichever doesn't really matter because he overslept and I overslept and in turn Cass did as well. Seeing how we managed to get about 10 hours sleep total all weekend we were all exhausted! The reason we had so little sleep is because bug had ball games all weekend. Of course we love it! Wouldn't trade it, I don't think..... But that's why we all overslept and the reason I had to take Cassie to school in my pajama's. Not that I mind taking her to school in my pj's, I am from Tennessee so the longer I can stay in my jammies the better:)
Now for the reason I had to text Cassie from my computer; recently with the craziness of our schedule we decided that we needed to purchase a 2nd car. I was fine with just the one car until we moved onto post at Fort Carson and all of a sudden Cassie went from walking 20 yards to the bus to walking a half mile! I almost died when I was told by Carson Middle transportation that they would not add another bus stop that was closer and that it was not in the budget even to add a small area at the stop to get out of the elements of the weather. How could they possibly deny my child that? How dare they say that MY child had to continue to walk a half mile to the bus stop in the Colorado winter weather, right? I know my kid is no more special than any other kid, I have always been the kind of mom who see's my child as equal to other children. I am absolutely 100% NOT just complaining about that situation because of my kiddo, I feel sorry for every child out here that has to walk the half mile and sit out in the rain, wind and snow! That's horrid especially in Colorado where the weather changes every 5 minutes. I think that I should write a letter to the editor concerning this situation! I just might actually! That still doesn't tell you why I had to text Cassie from the computer. Since we were buying a car this weekend, I completely forgot to pay the phone bill. How ridiculous right? On top of that I had no home phone this a.m. either. I was told something was going on with the service on post, but really, who knows? So in the busy life I have, I am only human and bound to make mistakes at some point. I can't be perfect always.... I am not perfect at any part of the time!
The schedule for me today consists of laundry, dishes, vacuuming, a couple hours of marketing and calling prospects, taking Cassie bug's stuff to school so she can practice basketball after school for the school team, and then a 2 pm appointment for me down town, picking up Cassie from basketball practice at school, going by the car lot at some point to finalize some paper work on the insurance, then grab some dinner and head out to yet another basketball practice for her travel team. I forgot about Miley! Miley is our 10 week old mini poodle that Cassie had to have because she would die if she didn't... Still potty training so I have to make time to walk her at least once an hour while I am at home.Funny how Cass always wants a puppy or kitten or fish even and promises her ife away while swearing she will take complete and total care of the animal and handle that responsibility BUT I am actually the one who will be doing all the work. Sometimes I wish she would just say, "mom, I want a puppy that I can call my own but your going to feed it, potty train it, walk it bathe it and I am going to play with it when I am not doing a million other things."
Seriously, just another day. No more busy and no less busy than every other day of my life!
Adrian is finally off to work and promises me that he is going to pay the phone bill on his lunch break! Hope he does. Not really for my sake because (and your about to die while reading this) I do not have a cell phone. I know I am probably the ONLY person in the world who doesn't have a cell phone. Children as young as 4 years old have phones, folks past the age of 90 have phones, insurgents, terrorist, and almost everyone else in the world has cell phones. But I do not. I am literally okay with that and have decided that my life is less chaotic without a cell phone. I had one up until about a month ago. Once I chose not to replace it I found new freedom. I can't be bothered while grocery shopping or while watching my daughter play ball. I have found no down side of me not having a phone yet... Notice I said yet....
Hope all you guy's have an amazing and productive day! If you have anything to say about my blog let me know. Feel free to email me anytime at busysportsmomblog@gmail.com I always want to know what you guys are thinking and what you have to say!
Cass is in school today and after such an crazy busy weekend we totally forgot that she starts basketball at the middle school today. How in the hell could I forget about that??? School sports are no less important than the travel sports. I even placed the date on the board and still forgot about the practices starting today. Oh well, I fixed the problem relatively quickly by texting bug from the computer, [which I will explain the reason for that in a minute], and letting her know that I will be at the school by 1 pm with her gym bag that has all of her basketball gear including her favorite shorts and socks. I also let her know that I will be calling her at lunch to chat with her and to remind her that she needs teachers signatures on the daily planner so I can help her organize her class work so she doesn't lose anymore [assignments]. That was a pretty long text which will probably get her into trouble because her phone will be going off during class and I will have to email the teacher to let her know why I had to text her and ask that they overlook it just this once because it was my fault and not Cassie's. We were also late getting up this morning. My husband forgot to set the alarm or to turn it on. Whichever doesn't really matter because he overslept and I overslept and in turn Cass did as well. Seeing how we managed to get about 10 hours sleep total all weekend we were all exhausted! The reason we had so little sleep is because bug had ball games all weekend. Of course we love it! Wouldn't trade it, I don't think..... But that's why we all overslept and the reason I had to take Cassie to school in my pajama's. Not that I mind taking her to school in my pj's, I am from Tennessee so the longer I can stay in my jammies the better:)
Now for the reason I had to text Cassie from my computer; recently with the craziness of our schedule we decided that we needed to purchase a 2nd car. I was fine with just the one car until we moved onto post at Fort Carson and all of a sudden Cassie went from walking 20 yards to the bus to walking a half mile! I almost died when I was told by Carson Middle transportation that they would not add another bus stop that was closer and that it was not in the budget even to add a small area at the stop to get out of the elements of the weather. How could they possibly deny my child that? How dare they say that MY child had to continue to walk a half mile to the bus stop in the Colorado winter weather, right? I know my kid is no more special than any other kid, I have always been the kind of mom who see's my child as equal to other children. I am absolutely 100% NOT just complaining about that situation because of my kiddo, I feel sorry for every child out here that has to walk the half mile and sit out in the rain, wind and snow! That's horrid especially in Colorado where the weather changes every 5 minutes. I think that I should write a letter to the editor concerning this situation! I just might actually! That still doesn't tell you why I had to text Cassie from the computer. Since we were buying a car this weekend, I completely forgot to pay the phone bill. How ridiculous right? On top of that I had no home phone this a.m. either. I was told something was going on with the service on post, but really, who knows? So in the busy life I have, I am only human and bound to make mistakes at some point. I can't be perfect always.... I am not perfect at any part of the time!
The schedule for me today consists of laundry, dishes, vacuuming, a couple hours of marketing and calling prospects, taking Cassie bug's stuff to school so she can practice basketball after school for the school team, and then a 2 pm appointment for me down town, picking up Cassie from basketball practice at school, going by the car lot at some point to finalize some paper work on the insurance, then grab some dinner and head out to yet another basketball practice for her travel team. I forgot about Miley! Miley is our 10 week old mini poodle that Cassie had to have because she would die if she didn't... Still potty training so I have to make time to walk her at least once an hour while I am at home.Funny how Cass always wants a puppy or kitten or fish even and promises her ife away while swearing she will take complete and total care of the animal and handle that responsibility BUT I am actually the one who will be doing all the work. Sometimes I wish she would just say, "mom, I want a puppy that I can call my own but your going to feed it, potty train it, walk it bathe it and I am going to play with it when I am not doing a million other things."
Seriously, just another day. No more busy and no less busy than every other day of my life!
Adrian is finally off to work and promises me that he is going to pay the phone bill on his lunch break! Hope he does. Not really for my sake because (and your about to die while reading this) I do not have a cell phone. I know I am probably the ONLY person in the world who doesn't have a cell phone. Children as young as 4 years old have phones, folks past the age of 90 have phones, insurgents, terrorist, and almost everyone else in the world has cell phones. But I do not. I am literally okay with that and have decided that my life is less chaotic without a cell phone. I had one up until about a month ago. Once I chose not to replace it I found new freedom. I can't be bothered while grocery shopping or while watching my daughter play ball. I have found no down side of me not having a phone yet... Notice I said yet....
Hope all you guy's have an amazing and productive day! If you have anything to say about my blog let me know. Feel free to email me anytime at busysportsmomblog@gmail.com I always want to know what you guys are thinking and what you have to say!
Sunday, October 5, 2014
A little about me and this blog:)
Hello There!
I have never been much of a blogger, BUT, lately I have found a lot of humor, trials, frustration, and craziness in my life with my family... My daughter especially! So, I thought what better way to keep up with all of our amazing memories, travels, milestones, and life in general, than to blog it. Share it with the world and hope that all of you are able to learn from my crazy follies and mistakes and enjoy our non-sense as much as we do. Don't get me wrong, there is never a day where everything is great or perfect or even close as you will all soon see in my blog. However, it is always a learning experience to say the least.
I am a 35 year old military spouse and mother to 3 biological children and I have 5 step children. Yep, that totals 8 kiddo's! I have a 17 year old daughter who lives in Tennessee. Her name is Morgan. So nearly 1 down and 2 to go:) My son Lucas who is 10 also lives in Tennessee. He lives with his dad and it's probably best. The military life is really difficult, especially on children. I have my Cass-O with me though. Her name is really Cassie Lane and she is 12 years old. She is the middle child and absolutely attached to my hip 24/7. Love my girl! You will hear me refer to her as bug, kitty, and all kind of other names as she answer to all my weird terms of endearment. She is pretty laid back thankfully. So I feel pretty lucky to have her as my daughter. On top of being a mom, I am also a nurse but changed careers last year and own an AmeriPlan franchise and hopefully when my husband retires from the military in 9 years I will be able to also. I recruit other women who are crazy interested in working from home and have the desire to really work hard for a couple years and retire with a 6 figure income I know it sounds to good to be true but seriously, IT IS! I also work with some amazing benefit plans that help people save a lot of money on dental and healthcare costs! Enough about work though! Besides all of that jazz, I am a sports mom! My daughter is crazy into sports and plays basketball year round in a travel league and at school, she also plays volleyball, softball (travel and school) as well as getting into some new sports like water polo and lacrosse! Luckily, I am crazy about sports as well and my husband is also so we LOVE watching her compete and play and enjoy everything that goes along with it. Most of the time. There are those times when we are all super tired from the hectic crazy schedules that over lap and having no time to shower, eat, or rest for a split second. I am sure you will hear all about it soon enough!
That's really me in a nut shell though! Thankfully I ahve a husband who is incredibly supportive and always ready to lend a hand in the house with chores and to help with the shopping and with Cassie. I would be absolutely lost without him. My partner, my soul mate, my friend, my over and the one person who I can trust in this world! Hope you are all equally as lucky as I am in love. Never is there a perfect day with us, a perfect date, a perfect moment but together they are all perfect and I cherish our life together!
I look forward to sharing all of our adventures with you guys and giving you a little it of insight into the life of a super busy stay at home, work at home, sports mom, and military spouse!
I have never been much of a blogger, BUT, lately I have found a lot of humor, trials, frustration, and craziness in my life with my family... My daughter especially! So, I thought what better way to keep up with all of our amazing memories, travels, milestones, and life in general, than to blog it. Share it with the world and hope that all of you are able to learn from my crazy follies and mistakes and enjoy our non-sense as much as we do. Don't get me wrong, there is never a day where everything is great or perfect or even close as you will all soon see in my blog. However, it is always a learning experience to say the least.
I am a 35 year old military spouse and mother to 3 biological children and I have 5 step children. Yep, that totals 8 kiddo's! I have a 17 year old daughter who lives in Tennessee. Her name is Morgan. So nearly 1 down and 2 to go:) My son Lucas who is 10 also lives in Tennessee. He lives with his dad and it's probably best. The military life is really difficult, especially on children. I have my Cass-O with me though. Her name is really Cassie Lane and she is 12 years old. She is the middle child and absolutely attached to my hip 24/7. Love my girl! You will hear me refer to her as bug, kitty, and all kind of other names as she answer to all my weird terms of endearment. She is pretty laid back thankfully. So I feel pretty lucky to have her as my daughter. On top of being a mom, I am also a nurse but changed careers last year and own an AmeriPlan franchise and hopefully when my husband retires from the military in 9 years I will be able to also. I recruit other women who are crazy interested in working from home and have the desire to really work hard for a couple years and retire with a 6 figure income I know it sounds to good to be true but seriously, IT IS! I also work with some amazing benefit plans that help people save a lot of money on dental and healthcare costs! Enough about work though! Besides all of that jazz, I am a sports mom! My daughter is crazy into sports and plays basketball year round in a travel league and at school, she also plays volleyball, softball (travel and school) as well as getting into some new sports like water polo and lacrosse! Luckily, I am crazy about sports as well and my husband is also so we LOVE watching her compete and play and enjoy everything that goes along with it. Most of the time. There are those times when we are all super tired from the hectic crazy schedules that over lap and having no time to shower, eat, or rest for a split second. I am sure you will hear all about it soon enough!
That's really me in a nut shell though! Thankfully I ahve a husband who is incredibly supportive and always ready to lend a hand in the house with chores and to help with the shopping and with Cassie. I would be absolutely lost without him. My partner, my soul mate, my friend, my over and the one person who I can trust in this world! Hope you are all equally as lucky as I am in love. Never is there a perfect day with us, a perfect date, a perfect moment but together they are all perfect and I cherish our life together!
I look forward to sharing all of our adventures with you guys and giving you a little it of insight into the life of a super busy stay at home, work at home, sports mom, and military spouse!
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